Feedback request please
Hi I am looking for some feedback about my writing. I have only recently started writing and am looking for an honest opinion. Constructive critism would be helpful, but please don't be mean for the sake of it. Thanks
CABIN/ LAKE SCENE
Waking up each morning meant another day of tedious monotony, loneliness and dread. Rose awoke to the icy morning air seeping into her skin, the thin blanket she covered herself in not thick enough to keep away the chill. She wrapped the blanket tighter around her frail shoulders and tip-toed her way to the metal rail holding her clothing, needed something warmer to envelop herself in. These four walls and the small adjoining bathroom were her own personal prison glaring at her mockingly. She rarely got to leave her room, confined for her own safety and that of others. At least that’s what they told her. The only item that meant something to her here was her easel. When a nightmare hit she could draw it, paint it until the last remnants were scraped from her mind. Having it glare at her from the paper was easier than bearing the fear inside, her thoughts trapping her. The doctor explained that if they could see it, maybe it would aid them in helping her. She didn’t believe them.
Rose gasped awake, drenched in freezing cold sweat from her nightmare. Tears filled her eyes as she blinked rapidly trying to dispel them before they could fall. Becoming conscious of her surroundings, she had forgotten in the terror, that she was in the cabin with Cam. She was safe. Rose didn’t remember falling asleep on the sofa last night as she looked down upon herself Cam had covered her in a thick patchwork throw blanket and had tucked a pillow in behind her head. She lay back down snuggling into the warmth of the blanket and let her mind wonder, thoughts of warm grey eyes and a kind smile occupying her.
As dawn loomed Rose made her way outside determined to go back to the lake. This was something she needed to do alone. As impossible as it seemed that magic lives within her she needed to know, to see it and feel it for herself. Quickly she scribbled a note for Cam and left it on the dining table, grabbing only her backpack and setting off as the sun rose. The path was easy to follow deeply engraved from years of use, only the uneven ground to contend with. In hindsight walking through the forest alone in semi darkness probably isn’t the best idea, but nonetheless made it in good time with no major injury. To her intense relief. Arriving at the lake she went to the waters edge, sitting down amongst the pebbles to catch her breath. The sun now fully risen in the sky, the early morning rays sparkled off the surface of the lake. Illuminating the intensely coloured pebbles and creating a diamond shine shimmering across the water, throwing multi-coloured rays through the scattered mist atop of the lake.
0 · Share on Twitter