need help

I think I have a great topic but I'm not sure how to start.  Its about being a grandparent today and how we struggle to assist our children in raising there children, so we are not really grandparents anymore, so what are we?  Super grandparents, I don't know.  I just know I'm living a life much different than I thought at 53, changing diapers, daycare, bottles ect.  I don't mind, but also want to share what I am feeling, just maybe someone else is feeling the way I am and it could help.  So, does this sound like something someone else would want to know about? 

Comments

  • Em_PressEm_Press Professor

    Yes, of course. Write a book about it. Many people will read it.

     

     

     A citizen of the world.

  • potetjppotetjp Bibliophile

    me3598 a écrit :

    I think I have a great topic but I'm not sure how to start.  Its about being a grandparent today and how we struggle to assist our children in raising there children, so we are not really grandparents anymore, so what are we?  Super grandparents, I don't know.  I just know I'm living a life much different than I thought at 53, changing diapers, daycare, bottles ect.  I don't mind, but also want to share what I am feeling, just maybe someone else is feeling the way I am and it could help.  So, does this sound like something someone else would want to know about? 


    To me you are just grand-parents taking care of their grand-children. Congratulations.

    In The French sociologist Theodore Zeldin (Oxford) has devoted a chapter to French grand-parents lavishing their grand-children with love and care, more than they did to their children, because they used to have little time, being busy earning their living. They also do not repeat the mistakes they made with them. I think it's a natural system, the youngest generation benefitting from the oldest generation's experience.

    I'd advise you to keep an exact diary, and use it to make your book. For instance, it will be useful to know at what exact age a grand-child has uttered its first syllable or word that definitely belongs to the English language.

  • It's difficult to say. There are a lot of variables here. First of all, you have to recognise that you're going to have a fairly limited target audience compared to a book of general interest - ie it's only going to be of interest to grandparents. That said, while it's a more limited audience, there are still lots of grandparents out there.

     

    It depends on what sort of book you're thinking of writing. Is it going to be a self-help book, advising people how to get through the situation you're in? A book of humorous anecdotes? If you're thinking of a book of the things that have happened to you since you became a grandparent, it's going to be more difficult to sell (imo). I think people want to take something away from a book of that sort. They want to learn something.

     

    Obviously there are a lot of other things to take into consideration, for example your writing skill, but before you even put pen to paper I'd strongly advise thinking about what sort of book you want to write and having a clear goal in mind for what you want to achieve with it. Do some googling and amazoning and see if you can find anything similar already on the market. If you can, then the question becomes how you're offering is going to differ, what it's going to add.

     

    Best of luck.

  • Em_PressEm_Press Professor

    Me35, you have a huge market. 95% of people will become or are grandparents, and do not let people make you write a book you were not intending to write.

     

    I, for one, do not plan on raising any more kids. I'm moving to another country. And, there are many like me. Exhausted. So, write the book you are planning to write. The truth. Your truth. Forget that image of the grandparent who is thrilled to, once again, change diapers. Unless you are, of course.

     A citizen of the world.

  • Like most ideas for novels - Great idea but how to pull it off?

     

    As a life story? Accepting your responsibilities as a parent and then again as grand parent? (Kind of a life line layout showing the differences in lifestyle.)

     

    As a challenge for our generation? (Yes, I am there also)  Show the hopes and dreams that had to change to accomodate changing realities. The cold thought that you will be 71 when she turns 18? (in the case of one of my grand daughters)

     

    As a social derivitive of the me generation we raised? This a a powerful development in the family dynamic that started breaking down years ago, perhaps an indicator of the longer time to maturity this generation seems to embody, from our prespective anyway.

     

    You have many ways to tell this story.  How to start? Pick up a pen (figuratively) and write.  Then think a bit and rewrite.  Then settle on what you really want to say.

     

    Let me know I would be interested in how this turns out. Smiley Happy

     


  • Em_Press wrote:

    Me35, you have a huge market. 95% of people will become or are grandparents, and do not let people make you write a book you were not intending to write.


    The key to that statistic is 'will become'. I don't really think it helps to include people who won't become grandparents for another 20 or 30 years. And I wasn't trying to make him write a book he didn't want to. I was offering my advice.

  • Em_PressEm_Press Professor

    Richard, I thought the poster was a she. Smiley Wink

     

    Anyhow, if her book is any good people will be reading it for the next 200 years.

     

     

     A citizen of the world.

  • oncewasoncewas Librarian

    If you have something you need to write then you should write it even if no one reads it. Not many of the hundreds of thousands of authors who publish here will sell even 100 copies of their book so don't let the size of the market deter you in any way.

     

    Decide what it is you wish to say and just start writing. Do you enjoy this new reality? Do you hate it? How about coming at it from a humorous angle?

     

    Potetjp, I don't think the OP is talking about being an ordinary grandparent, as in of years gone by; this sound more like the situation whereby parents can't afford childcare and are having to rope the child's grandparents in to provide it. That sounds different from the old situation of ...'aw shucks, aint the little tyke cute? How fortunate that I can hand him back to his parents when I've had enough of him!'


  • Em_Press wrote:

    Richard, I thought the poster was a she. Smiley Wink

     

     

     Smiley Surprised

    Sexism! Just because the OP mentioned changing nappies, you assume it's a she!

     

    Mind you, you're probably right.

     


  • danielblue wrote:

    If you have something you need to write then you should write it even if no one reads it. Not many of the hundreds of thousands of authors who publish here will sell even 100 copies of their book so don't let the size of the market deter you in any way.

     

     


    That's true. It's a great thing to write just for the love of writing.

  • potetjppotetjp Bibliophile

    danielblue a écrit :

     

    Potetjp, I don't think the OP is talking about being an ordinary grandparent, as in of years gone by; this sound more like the situation whereby parents can't afford childcare and are having to rope the child's grandparents in to provide it. That sounds different from the old situation of ...'aw shucks, aint the little tyke cute? How fortunate that I can hand him back to his parents when I've had enough of him!'


    Perhaps, yet he seemed to discover the joys of grandparenthood, although taking care of small children can be a chore at times. Let's hope he will tell more about his experience. His seems to be a close-knit family, not the exploded one festering with social problems.

  • Just KevinJust Kevin Lulu Genius

    If written from one's own experience it all depends on how involved one is as a grandparent. Some are just used as free baby-sitters, some have a very active roll, some even raise the grand-kids fully (and often not through any choice of one's own.) Some have to fight to get to see them.

    Those aspects will make a great difference to how interesting the book will be. People like to read real stories that have something above the norm in them. Overcoming obstacles and such like.

    One thing that comes to mind is you have also raised the parents, so you could compare the differences between doing that and being involved with the grandkids.

     

    If no one else reads it, if it's fully honest then your kids and their kids may find it very interesting. Smiley Surprised

  • Here are my thoughts on, for what they're worth:

     

    Few circumstances are truly unique. There was a first person to fly faster than the speed of sound, for example, and he wrote a book about it ( Yeager ). It sold well because it was by a man who did a one-of-a-kind thing. His book sold well, not only to other pilots, but to the general public also.

     

    But there are many great books by pilots who were not the first to break the sound barrier. Maybe their books only sell well to other pilots, who relate to them. But there are many many pilots out there.

     

    By the same token, whether you are the only grandparent raising grandchildren ever, or one of many, there is a group of people out there who will read your book. Make your book exciting and fun and fill it with humor and emotional moments and even cute little things the baby says, and you'll have a forever-classic.

     

    Practical books are often the best-sellers. There's a book I first saw in the late eighties, I think, called "What to Expect When You're Expecting." I am not a parent, so I didn't buy it, but I thought, "Hey, that's a great title."

     

    But here's the thing: It has been in print continually since 1984 and is now in its fourth edition. There is an entire series of books spun off from it, and even a movie adaptation made in 2012.

     

    My point (and I do have one) is that if you write this book very very well, even though it appeals to a small demographic at any one point in time, it could become a long-term favorite among grandparents who raise their grandchildren. Write the book you want to read -- put in it the things you wish you'd known, and the heart-warming moments, and the sheer disasters, and all the things that will make it a how-to book for the ages.

     

    Above all -- write from your heart. Enjoy!!

  • Em_PressEm_Press Professor

    Smiley Happy

     

    No, it's the stats. I think they're one to ten that say grandmothers are raising grandchildren rather than grandfathers. One in ten is generous.

     A citizen of the world.

  • Just KevinJust Kevin Lulu Genius

    Here are my thoughts on, for what they're worth:

     

    We are all entitled to have them.

     

    Few circumstances are truly unique.

     

    That is true. It's far from easy to come up with a factual book subject, or ideas in fiction that have not already been written often 1000s of times.

     

    There was a first person to fly faster than the speed of sound, for example, and he wrote a book about it ( Yeager ). It sold well because it was by a man who did a one-of-a-kind thing. His book sold well, not only to other pilots, but to the general public also.

     

     I am not at all sure that it did sell well, to a degree of 'well'. Most people possibly first knew about it from news-reels and then later a film was made. But thankfully people do still write about him, but I expect only people interested in aviation would buy them. I feel sorry for Scott Crossfield who actually did it first.

     

    But there are many great books by pilots who were not the first to break the sound barrier.

     

    Indeed. There are many flight firsts other than breaking the sound barrier and they are fading away in to the distant past and seem no big deal to people nowadays.

     

    Maybe their books only sell well to other pilots, who relate to them. But there are many many pilots out there.

     

    Not just pilots. There's many people involved in the industry who cannot fly a plane.

     

    By the same token, whether you are the only grandparent raising grandchildren ever, or one of many, there is a group of people out there who will read your book. Make your book exciting and fun and fill it with humor and emotional moments and even cute little things the baby says, and you'll have a forever-classic.

     

    It will need that USP, and mentions on sites aimed at parents and grandparents. and there are a lot of such sites.

     

    Practical books are often the best-sellers. There's a book I first saw in the late eighties, I think, called "What to Expect When You're Expecting." I am not a parent, so I didn't buy it, but I thought, "Hey, that's a great title."

     

    A shame more people do not buy such books, and on how to raise children. But like cots and prams they often get passed on, so one such book could end up read by many.

     

    But here's the thing: It has been in print continually since 1984 and is now in its fourth edition. There is an entire series of books spun off from it, and even a movie adaptation made in 2012.

     

    It's updated every few years, so it's not the same book, and it's written by very qualified medical people on the medical side of things, but there seems to be no comparison between the book and the film description.

     

    My point (and I do have one) is that if you write this book very very well, even though it appeals to a small demographic at any one point in time, it could become a long-term favorite among grandparents who raise their grandchildren.

     

    There's 7 billion people on Earth so there has to be a lot of grandparents!

     

     

    Write the book you want to read -- put in it the things you wish you'd known, and the heart-warming moments, and the sheer disasters, and all the things that will make it a how-to book for the ages.

     

    Yes, I agree with that, but there's already many similar books around, so it may be a good idea to read them to see what's expected, then put one's own personal experiences in to it. It has to be different.

     

    Here's just one example >>     http://www.amazon.com/The-Grandparent-Guide-Definitive-Grandparenting/dp/0071383115

     

    Above all -- write from your heart. Enjoy!!

     

    Yup. If the writer does not enjoy writing it then there's little point in doing it.

  • Yes, I agree with that,

     

    Who are you, and what have you done with Kevin?

  • Just KevinJust Kevin Lulu Genius

    I am the usual me, perhaps you are reading what I say in a different light?  Smiley LOL

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