02-21-2011 02:56 AM
A nurse is giving a young medical intern a tour of the hospital.
The intern approaches one bedridden patient and asks, “Why are you here?”
The patient replies, “Wee sleket cowerin’ timrous beastie. Oh, what a panic is in thy breastie.”
The intern moves on to the next bed and asks the same question, “Why are you here?”
The patient answers, “O, my luv is like a red, red, rose that’s newly sprung in June.”
The intern moves on to a third bed and asks again, “Why are you here”
To which the third patient replies, “The best laid plans of mice and men, may often gang awry.”
At this the intern turns to the nurse and asks, “What ward is this anyway.”
And the nurse answers, “It’s the Burns Unit.”
02-28-2011 09:17 AM
A film crew was on location deep in the desert. One day an old Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow, rain." The next day it rained. A week later, the Indian went up to the director and said, "Tomorrow, storm." The next day there was a hailstorm.
"This Indian is incredible," said the director. He told his secretary to hire the Indian to predict the weather.
However, after several successful predictions, the old Indian didn't show up for two weeks. Finally, the director sent for him. "I have to shoot a big scene tomorrow," said the director, "and I'm depending on you. What will the weather be like?" The Indian shrugged his shoulders. "Don't know," he said. "Radio broke."