My Novella is Up [ Edited ]

[Rayme]

After a long, arduous testing of my patience, due mainly to my custom-designed cover (Style 1), my book, entitled, Incorrigibility, is finally up!  It’s a novella that goes under the category (if there were such a category) of bawdy, irreverent humour.  I’m going to tell you right off the bat, though, as it’s the least I can do, that if you are easily offended, and don’t like raunchy humour, don’t even bother, because, no joke, this thing is rude, crude and lewd from beginning to end.  It is both prurient and puerile, just the way I like my entertainment.  It's also existential, critical of religion, and, yes, it does have its serious and sappy moments, given it is character-driven, but, for the most part, it is a quirky relationship/sex-comedy, where the boundaries of the mundane are mocked, bent, ridiculed, pushed and provoked.  Hey, look at it this way:  it’s pretty short, so if it turns out to be a complete waste of your time, it won’t have been that much of a waste of your time.  Know what I mean, jelly bean?

Here is the link where you may now proceed in supporting Yours Truly:

 http://www.lulu.com/shop/rayme-michaels/incorrigibility/paperback/product-20033828.html

 Thank you for your time.

 - Rayme

[matthewcchiversathotmaildotcodotuk]

I read the preview and even rated it I liked it that much - and what can I say? Keep writing!

[scamdetectives]

Love the cover, enjoyed the preview and think it'll sell by the bucketload!

What more can I say?

[RiazAli]

It's a good attempt, but expletives *can* be over used, losing their punch and shock value. If it loses it's shock value, then an expletive becomes a parody of itself which, in the context of your writing, doesn't quite work.

I love the work of Peter Cook by the way, both his satirical stuff and the out and out crude, juvenile humour of his 'Derek & Clive' persona. I think that worked because of my first point above.

I also love Sarah Silverman, who at this year's Secret Policeman's Ball, delivered a hugely funny monologue on the fact that she was once a sperm in her father's **bleep**. Again, just making a point that you can also cover taboo subjects with great humour, without resorting to expletives.

Personally, I am not sure you have pulled off the mixing of crude, bawdy humour and the situations that your characters find themselves in. Sometimes, using bawdy humour in situations that are *out* of the bedroom, can be much funnier!

I am not sure if your tense works. It is not as dynamic as ' she said, he said, he did' etc. You use 'she says, he says,' and so on. Instead of 'She rushed to the bathroom' you continue with 'she rushes to the bathroom'.

My point being that it makes the reader aware that there is an unseen narrator, rather than the reader feeling *they are there*.

£6.25 for 96 pages is pretty high in this economic climate too. I am charging £5.25 for my paperback of 256 pages - I make about 50p per copy - I'm not in it for the money. :-) 

[Rayme]

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RiazAli wrote:

 Personally, I am not sure you have pulled off the mixing of crude, bawdy humour and the situations that your characters find themselves in. Sometimes, using bawdy humour in situations that are *out* of the bedroom, can be much funnier!

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Yes, the book rarely goes back into the bedroom.  It takes place in restaurants, offices, church, the park, the mall, Brent's grouchy grandfather's apartment and in the courtroom near the end for an insane trial.

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RiazAli wrote:

 I am not sure if your tense works. It is not as dynamic as ' she said, he said, he did' etc. You use 'she says, he says,' and so on. Instead of 'She rushed to the bathroom' you continue with 'she rushes to the bathroom'.

My point being that it makes the reader aware that there is an unseen narrator, rather than the reader feeling *they are there*.

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Not both?  I want the reader to feel as if it is happening right in front of them in the present, rather than in the past, which would make it seem like it was something that has occured already.  I know that "said" is what is more commonly used in novels, it just didn't offer the feel I was going for.

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RiazAli wrote:

£6.25 for 96 pages is pretty high in this economic climate too. I am charging £5.25 for my paperback of 256 pages - I make about 50p per copy - I'm not in it for the money. :-) 

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My representative had originally made it $16.00 without asking me first, and when I saw that, I immediately made it for $9.99.  How much do you think it should go for?  The last thing I want is to rip anybody off.

[Peter May]

Good cover, good layout. Interesting start made me want more and introduced me to a new word that I had to Google (queef).

But - there are a lot of straight apostrophes. The quote marks are curly and also are many apostrophes but there are many straight ones. Oh, and Lily is blonde (with an e) since she is a female, only males are blond.

I think Riaz is right re pricing, I'd expect a full size book for that price - and I think Riaz has already answered your question about what he'd price it at by disclosing his profit margin.

[Rayme]

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Peter May wrote:

Good cover, good layout. Interesting start made me want more and introduced me to a new word that I had to Google (queef).

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LOL!  Awesome!