The grass dances in the warm breeze in celebration, back lit by the waning light of an afternoon sun.
I found this opening somewhat dissonant. For the grass to be back lit, we must be looking towards the sun, presumably from a very low angle. Also, it is "afternoon" which to me, with no other information, would seem to be... Two? Three? Four? But a moment later, it's dusk. Okay, you did say "waning light" but to me that suggests darkening towards evening, even twilight.
Maybe I'm too OCD on this point, but it seems tough to get a time fix here.
Today is special.
After a long drought, the thirst is finally quenched with the blood of a dove.
Quenching a thirst with the blood of a dove strongly suggests either some very dark evil, or else a sacrificial ritual of some sort. It's making the story much darker in tone than the prior sentences made it. It's early evening, and BAM! BLOOD SACRIFICE, DUDE!
If it were me, I would lay a bit of groundwork before jumping into the blood of a dove. Perhaps either more description of the otherwise peaceful and bucolic scenery, for greater contrast, or else a sense of foreboding that leads into the ominous thirst-quenching, for foreshadowing. Something about the growing darkness, the lengthening of shadows, the slow fading of the light... And then, the ominous declaration: That this day, doves shall die.
young boys walk at dusk. One is dressed in black with a black cape
while the other is in white with a rainbow cape of many colors. The boy
in black raises a hand to the air and points at something in the
distance as it happens. Equally sharp-eyed, the boy in white sees it as