a short novel about a hybrid

Why do so many people vilify that most intelligent animal and a near relative to humans - the pig. Humans happily use parts of a pig to save people who are ill yet so many use the pig as a metaphor for filth and greed. Just a little research on the pig would explain their behaviour and stop the ignorant remarks. In my short fantasy novel I have created a hybrid child half human and half pig. This is Patsy's (The pig child) story.

Comments

  • Sounds like a very interesting idea! 

     

    I would, however, suggest including the title of the book in your post---or even a direct link to it...I had to search for it among the rest of your books.

     

    Might I ask what audience your book is aimed toward?

  • It's aimed at adults. I thought just the link to my store  would be enough as it's the first listed of my books. Thanks anyway.


  • burbette123 wrote:

    It's aimed at adults. I thought just the link to my store  would be enough as it's the first listed of my books. Thanks anyway.


    Well, it would have been a courtesy to have a direct link and not expect people to hunt for the book...especially when you didn't provide its title.

     

    Anyway, as I said, the story sounds intriguing (if not a little implausible)...enough so that I think you might want to consider expanding it a little. I've read the preview and much of it sounds more like a summary or synopsis than a real story. You might want to take your time in telling it. (And you may want to consider having someone give it a light editing.)

  •  

    As I explained it is a short novel about the life of a hybrid. It's the story of Patsy and I mentioned the name The Pig Child. I think it is ok to give ones book store - nothing discourteous about that. Also I didn't want to make it longer. Throughout history there have been stories about hybrids so why do you think the concept is implausible?  Presently in the USA scientists are actually combining human organs with pigs.Also might I add that you are not helpful in your comments. If you can't be positive better to say nothing. Constructive criticism is good, but your criticism is destructive. You are the kind of person who discourages authors THINK before you write.


  • burbette123 wrote:

     

    As I explained it is a short novel about the life of a hybrid. It's the story of Patsy and I mentioned the name The Pig Child. I think it is ok to give ones book store - nothing discourteous about that. Also I didn't want to make it longer. Throughout history there have been stories about hybrids so why do you think the concept is implausible?  Presently in the USA scientists are actually combining human organs with pigs.Also might I add that you are not helpful in your comments. If you can't be positive better to say nothing. Constructive criticism is good, but your criticism is destructive. You are the kind of person who discourages authors THINK before you write.


    It's perfectly OK to give a link to your store...but you were talking about a specific book, a book you did not even mention the title of. That left it to the reader to figure out which book you were promoting. A direct link would have been simpler and, because it would have saved even the small effort of ferreting it out, a courtesy.

     

    Your original post only said...

     

    "Why do so many people vilify that most intelligent animal and a near relative to humans - the pig. Humans happily use parts of a pig to save people who are ill yet so many use the pig as a metaphor for filth and greed. Just a little research on the pig would explain their behaviour and stop the ignorant remarks. In my short fantasy novel I have created a hybrid child half human and half pig. This is Patsy's (The pig child) story."

     

    While you use the phrase "the pig child," in parantheses, you do not say---nor even suggest---that this is the title of your book.

     

    Regarding criticism, I'm not sure how more specific I could be, other than to point out individual examples. The reason I suggested having someone objectively edit your book was inspired by things like:

     

    Janet's stared at Samuel shocked at what he was saying, "Are you serious, Sam?" She asked.

     

    Which more correctly should have been:

     

    Janet stared at Samuel, shocked at what he was saying. "Are you serious, Sam?" she asked.

     

    This is not remotely an isolated example.

     

    The first three pages are what is known as an "information dump." This is where the author is speaking directly to the reader, presenting them with details that would have been better brought out in the story itself. This is why I suggested that you might want to take more time in telling the story.

     

    I know that there are many characters in mythology in which humans and animals have been mixes---Pan is only one of these imaginary creatures---but you make it clear that your "pig child" is not mythological but a result of science. This means you may want to do some research. Transplanting organs is not  even remotely the same thing as creating a hybrid, which---in biology---involves mixing the DNA of different species. For instance, a "ligon," a cross between a tiger and a lion, is a hybrid. You have essentially written a science fiction story (I know you say it is a "fantasy" but your reply to my post makes it clear that you think your story has a realistic premise)...which behooves you to get the science right. Do you think that just because myth speaks of the winged horse Pegasus that you could impregnate a horse with, oh, I don't know, eagle sperm and produce a horse with wings?

     

    That being said...verisimilitude can sometimes trump accuracy. This means that if you can make your premise seem believable enough, that is often sufficient. To this end, I might suggest some explanation---even if made up out of whole cloth---as to how your hybrid could be created. Star Trek got away with this every week.

  • Do you know about the new research being done in the USA? Scientists are inserting human cells into pigs to grow human organs. Actually mixing the two species. Many people are outraged by this, not knowing what it could lead to- maybe even a hybrid. Do a little research and you will find out about this new science. I am a vegetarian and I am concerned about how humans treat animals - that is the underlying message of my book. Hopefully the zeitgeist of the times will change as it has done in so many areas (such as racism, sexism etc.) Perhaps with the passing years people will become more enlightened regarding the creatures who share our planet.

     

    PS By the way why am i finding comments like this here on Lulu

     Ron Miller stay away from my new book
    My brilliant new novel called "The Veil of Maya" ID 4318597 is now available. The first 20 pages are on the preview. Anyone - except old Ron- is welcome to review it and post a comment. Nothing against Ron but he's been known to crucify some books and destroy an author's confidence. So if he writes anything on here about The Veil of Maya do not take any notice of him. He should be banned from Lulu!!!

     

    PPS By the way i did find one apostrophe mistake and possibly a couple of commas and a full stop- not great sins!!!

     

     


  • burbette123 wrote:

    Do you know about the new research being done in the USA? Scientists are inserting human cells into pigs to grow human organs. Actually mixing the two species. Many people are outraged by this, not knowing what it could lead to- maybe even a hybrid. Do a little research and you will find out about this new science. I am a vegetarian and I am concerned about how humans treat animals - that is the underlying message of my book. Hopefully the zeitgeist of the times will change as it has done in so many areas (such as racism, sexism etc.) Perhaps with the passing years people will become more enlightened regarding the creatures who share our planet.

     

    I can certainly agree with you about the sad way animals are treated!

     

    But I also have to point out that you misunderstand what a "hybrid" is, at least in the science of biology, which defines the word as referring to "the offspring resulting from the cross between parents of different  species or sub-species." Growing human cells in pigs is not hybridization. However, that being said, human genes and the genes of pigs can theoretically be mixed, resulting in a technical hybrid. In fact, this has been done to a limited degree experimentally...but the results are not creatures who are half pig-half human. Instead, a useful characteristic, such a resistance to a disease. And this sort of hybridization is necessarily accomplished by far, far more subtle means than you suggest (in practice, by inserting a human nucleus into a pig cell). In fact, barely 0.1 percent of the resulting creature's genetic material is pig. This is why I used the word "implausible"---human-pig hybrids are possible, but they are not accomplished by simply inserting pig sperm into a human female nor are the results creatures that are half pig and half human.

     

    But, in the end, this is not to say that your book needs to be based on hard science! Especially given what you say the ultimate point of your book is supposed to be.

     

    PS By the way why am i finding comments like this here on Lulu

     Ron Miller stay away from my new book
    My brilliant new novel called "The Veil of Maya" ID 4318597 is now available. The first 20 pages are on the preview. Anyone - except old Ron- is welcome to review it and post a comment. Nothing against Ron but he's been known to crucify some books and destroy an author's confidence. So if he writes anything on here about The Veil of Maya do not take any notice of him. He should be banned from Lulu!!!

     

    That is because there are far too many self-published authors who cannot accept anything but praise. Sadly, even though I have never insulted an author, never been anything but courteous and have always been careful to provide explanations and examples, there will always be that small residue of authors who think s that their work is sacrosanct (such as those who self-describe their own books as being "brilliant"). Fortunately, you don't seem to fall into that category!

     

    But you did say that "Constructive criticism is good, but your criticism is destructive. You are the kind of person who discourages authors THINK before you write." In what way were my comments "destructive"? I gave you examples of what I was talking about and made it clear that I was only trying to help make your book even better than it is. And I certainly never said that your book was in any way bad or not worth reading. How is that "discouraging"?

     

    In fact, looking back, the worst thing I said about your story was that  "...I think you might want to consider expanding it a little. I've read the preview and much of it sounds more like a summary or synopsis than a real story. You might want to take your time in telling it. (And you may want to consider having someone give it a light editing.)"   

     

    That's what you consider "destructive" and "discouraging"?

     

    (I suggested expanding the opening because I found the idea of inseminating a woman with pig semen to be immensely implausible and thought that if you backed it up with a little more exposition---even if you were to just make up the science---you might make the premise a little more believable. You also have the potential for a really interesting character in Sam and a little more background and insight into his thoughts and motivations would have been great. That was the most critical thing I said and I don't think you can say I expressed it impolitely.)

     

    I am a professional author with something like 50 commercially published books to my credit. Many of these have appeared to gratifyingly effusive praise and great reviews...but others have been brutally castigated by reviewers and/or readers. So I know full well what it feels like to be on the receiving end of criticism. People are more than welcome to like or dislike my books and I accept the praise and let the rest roll off my back. But when a reviewer makes a valid point, I take them seriously. I may or may not agree with what they say, but neither do I dismiss them (nor do I get angry with them). All of my books have benefited from listening to critics since, unlike myself, they have looked at my books objectively. And the ones I listen to most closely are my own editors, for it is during the editing process itself that a book will run its toughest gauntlet. Unlike myself, an editor looks at my book with an absolutely unprejudiced, objective eye...and will consequently spot things---from the overall structure and content to the phrasing of sentences---I would have never seen. An editor cannot impose their suggestions onto an author---it is the latter's responsibility to impliment them or not---but it is the wise author who listens very, very closely and doesn't scorn those suggestions out of hand.

     

    PPS By the way i did find one apostrophe mistake and possibly a couple of commas and a full stop- not great sins!!!

     

    Indeed not! In fact, I said that your book appeared to need only a light editing. But no author can effectively edit their own work. As you say, there are only a few issues with missing or misplaced punctuation (at least in the preview), but I take it that you didn't notice these (nor the dialog problem I had pointed out) until the matter was raised and you went back and looked.

     

    It is always a good idea for an author to find someone who can objectively read through their book.

     

     

     


     

    1. Thank you for replying. However I think we make books and use Lulu in very different ways. I am a very old woman who wouldn't even put my books up for sale. However as soon as I realised that Lulu retires them  when you make them for personal use only,  i realised that  to sell them here was the only way to keep the books on Lulu, then I could buy them for family and friends. Lulu allows us to do that. I am not after money. Nevertheless one of my books, which also has an underlying message, is on Amazon.  Lulu let me do that. I also felt that the pig child's underlying message could go on Amazon. However I made "Stolen" the eBook version free. Perhaps I won't bother to make The Pig Child an eBook. I am almost 80 and realise I am not a professional writer but it gives me something to do that I really enjoy. You are in a different category and are a professional writer so have pity on us and don't put us off writing, or take away anyone's confidence. We are all here for different reasons and Lulu caters for all kinds.                                                                                                                                                

  • burbette123 wrote:
    1. Thank you for replying. However I think we make books and use Lulu in very different ways. I am a very old woman who wouldn't even put my books up for sale. However as soon as I realised that Lulu retires them  when you make them for personal use only,  i realised that  to sell them here was the only way to keep the books on Lulu, then I could buy them for family and friends. Lulu allows us to do that. I am not after money. Nevertheless one of my books, which also has an underlying message, is on Amazon.  Lulu let me do that. I also felt that the pig child's underlying message could go on Amazon. However I made "Stolen" the eBook version free. Perhaps I won't bother to make The Pig Child an eBook. I am almost 80 and realise I am not a professional writer but it gives me something to do that I really enjoy. You are in a different category and are a professional writer so have pity on us and don't put us off writing, or take away anyone's confidence. We are all here for different reasons and Lulu caters for all kinds.                                                                                                                                                

    As I've said, I think your book has a very interesting and maybe even important message that is being expressed in a very imaginative way. And you did a very good job in writing it---after all, if what I suggested were the worst things I could find, you did better than most! My only goal was to help you make your book as good as it can possibly be...something I had hoped you might want to do regardless of its intended audience---whether that be just family and friends or the general public. That's just plain old craftsmanship, which is important no matter what you are doing. As the ancient saying goes, if something is worth doing, it's worth doing right. I realize that you didn't intend to put your books up for sale...but once you did do that, it kind of behooved you to make them as good as possible: after all, you are charging money for them.

     

    If you will look back at my original posts, I think you will find that I had only a couple of minor criticisms and suggestions...which were (I hope!) expressed with some courtesy---something I always try to do. This sort of thing is not meant in the remotest way to discourage you. Quite the opposite in fact. If your book was genuinely godawful I wouldn't have bothered to say anything at all. So I was surprised and distressed when your response was so very negative. Insulting your or your work was not my intention.

     

    I know it can be difficult to have something in which you have put a lot of labor and love be criticized...but by the same token, it is doing you no favor at all to offer only praise...just as it is not really fair to ask people to say only nice things about your work.

     

    (PS: You are only ten years older than me!)

     

     

     

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