Looking for reviews for a fantasy novel

Hey, I recently published a fantasy novel here and was hoping I might find some people willing to review it. You can view the description to see if it's something that would interest you and then download it for free here: Ariel's Tear: A Tale of Rehavan

 

Thanks so much to anyone willing to do this. Every bit of feedback and publicity helps. Even if you don't want to read the whole thing or write out an actual review, any criticisms you would like to leave here for whatever portions you do read would be appreciated.

 

Comments

  • I'll try to review your novel on another site. Is there any affiliate program sir ? Thank you .

  • Skoob_ymSkoob_ym ✭✭✭

    Well, let me begin by congratulating you on a couple of points.

     

    First, you have an excellent cover, imo. At first I thought that a bit more contrast might be worthwhile, but it works very well as is. A good cover design is very difficult to achieve. Kudo to you and to your artist.

     

    Second, your blurb is free of misspellings and gross grammatical errors. That sound elementary, but you'd be surprised, sometimes...

     

    I have downloaded the novel but haven't read it yet. I will give you a general review of it here when I've read it, or read as much as time permits. In the meantime, a couple of very minor nit-picks on your otherwise excellent blurb:

     

    "“Beauty is always worth protecting.”

     

    Set iIn the fictional world of Rehavan, Ariel’s Tear tells the story of Reheuel, Captain of the Guards in the small human city of Gath Odrenoch. An aging soldier haunted by memories of his bloody youth, Reheuel lives a sedate but contented life with his family. Disillusioned with warfare and the glories of his nation’s conquests, he raises his children to value beauty and the wonders that enrich their lives. His peaceful world shatters, however, when a tribe of goblins threatens both Gath Odrenoch and the nearby Fairy City. Intent on saving his family and on protecting the innocence of the childlike fairies, Reheuel sets off on a journey to save both cities. Lifting his sword once more, he rediscovers the true cost of earthly beauty."

     

    I struck a couple of words which strike me as unnecessary. It's not a grammatical question so much as a stylistic choice, so I may be entirely wrong on the point. But I'd cut them.

     

    One other stylistic choice:

     

    Of the six sentences, five begin with a dependent clause. That's not "wrong" per se. Note that I began this paragraph with a dependent clause. In my opinion, when one starts a paragraph with a dependent clause, it is a bit like launching the paragraph from a catapult. One must then use more direct and faster-paced sentences to chase after that clause and follow it home.

     

    I might have done this:

     

    Ariel’s Tear tells the story of Reheuel, Captain of the Guards in the small human city of Gath Odrenoch. An aging soldier haunted by memories of his bloody youth, Reheuel lives a sedate but contented life with his family. He was D disillusioned with warfare and the glories of his nation’s conquests, and he raises his children to value beauty and the wonders that enrich their lives, but H his peaceful world shatters  when a tribe of goblins threatens both Gath Odrenoch and the nearby Fairy City. Intent on saving To save his family and on protecting the innocence of the childlike fairies, Reheuel sets off on a journey to save both cities. Lifting his sword once more, he rediscovers the true cost of earthly beauty."

     

    As I said, these are points of style and fine tuning, and while I can point out grammatical errors if I see them as being objectively wrong (and you have none), in matters of style I can only say that something sounds better to my ear.

     

    That's two cents worth -- put it on my tab -- and when I've had a look at the story I'll post a bit more.

     

    Hope that's helpful.

  • Skoob_ymSkoob_ym ✭✭✭

    Okay, a few pages in, and I'm seeing a couple of things here.

     

    First, you have a good raw talent, and you've honed the craft of writing a little bit. These are very good things. I'd put your writing above the 90th percentile. So see these remarks in that light, please. I believe that the best service we as writers can offer each other is to be very frank and to point out things that need work.

     

    As I say, your writing is very very good, even excellent. But you haven't quite mastered it. You have to not only see the story from your viewpoint, as the writer, but also from the viewpoint of the reader. You have developed skill, but not style.

     

    Don't get me wrong. As stories go, this one is a B++ or an A-- as it sits. I can think of people I know who would read it through cover to cover and beg for more.

     

    However, with that said, and understanding that I'm talking about taking a 90% story and bumping it closer to 100%, and understanding as I say this that my own stories are not perfect by any stretch...

     

    First, a couple minor nitpits: You have no Title Page per se. On the copyright page, you should have the (c) symbol next to the word copyright..

     

    Next: The material of "On Creation," -- I realize that you see this as introducing the worlds you have invented and explaining their relative position with respect to ours. I imagine that this part was very important in imagining the rest of the story. But it doesn't belong there.

     

    The rule of beginning a story is, "In Media Res," which is an ancient way of saying "Get the story moving quickly."

     

    (Actually, it means, "In the middle of things" and the best example is the Iliad, which starts in year 9 of a 10 year war).

     

    If you were writing the Silmarillion, then this material would work great. But while nearly everyone has read LOTR, hardly anyone has read the Silmarillion. And if JRR Tolkein had put the lengthy passage about how Eru Iluvatar made the Valar, and then with them sang the worlds into being -- if that were at the start of LOTR, no one would have read the rest.

     

    A good rule is, "Never tell us what you can show us."

     

    You've got to tell the story the way you would want to hear it if you hadn't written it. Think of writing as a process of making and keeping promises. You're continually promising the reader that if they keep reading, they'll get to the good part -- the exciting scene, or the clever dialog, or the bit with the swordplay, or ... something. So you make the promise, keep the promise, make a bigger promise.

     

    You're teasing the reader into trusting you so that he will willingly go on this journey with you.

     

    Next: The prologue with the gnome extinguishing the streetlamps... Good stuff, but it comes as a second start to the story, so people need to see that you're going to keep your promise and get to the better stuff. If this were the first start -- without the "On Creation" part -- this would work better.

     

    Still in that part: I'd chop down some of those huge paragraphs. You've got blocks of text that are a bit discouraging to the reader, before you've really drawn him into the story.  Every change of subject, however slight, should have its own paragraph. At the very least, unless you're rushing the reader breathlessly through an action scene that can't let him even pause to breathe...

     

    Let him pause to breathe.

     

    Frankly, I had to read a couple paragraphs twice because the subject changed in the middle, and I had the idea that it was the gnome whom people thought had sold his soul for story-telling skill. I was wondering why he merely disbelieved that idea and didn't reject it outright -- he should know, right?

     

    Anyway, I'd make about twice as many paragraphs of that part.

     

    Speaking of that: As a point of style: Most fiction books in the US start a chapter somewhere between 1/3 and 1/2 way down the page. Personally, I like the white space. UK and Commonwealth books usually don't. It's a stylistic thing. Think about it, and do what seems right to you.

     

    Also, I'm not seeing page numbers...

     

    Then: When you start Chapter One, -- Okay, at last, this is what I was hoping for at the very beginning, a clear narrative with engaging characters. But by now we're at the third start of the story. The average reader will have lost patience with you by this point.

     

    Again, shorter paragraphs, and don't tell us what you can show us, but we get the gist of it; the man, his wife, his sons, his daughter, the Faery city on a hill. The prose could be a bit tighter, but its very good. The dialog could be a bit more like a real conversation, but it's good.

     

    Another nitpick: Before the boy jumps out the window, he says "that's my queue." Unless he means that he's going to stand in a line, or he's talking about braiding his hair, he means to say "that's my cue." Minor detail, but it's jarring to the casual reader.

     

    So: if this is the sort of feedback you were hoping for, I'll talk a bit about the massacre at the Fairy Castle later. If it's not, say so, and I'll keep my thoughts to myself.

     

    Again, this is a very good story and I see a lot of potential in it, and in you. I hope this is helpful.

  • “Beauty is always worth protecting.”

     

    That's a quote. Who said it and why is it? Is it from within the book?

     

    Set on the fantasic world of Rehavan, Ariel’s Tear is the story of Reheuel, Captain of the Guards in the small human city of Gath Odrenoch. An ex-soldier haunted by memories of his bloody youth, Reheuel lives a sedate but contented life with his family. Disillusioned with warfare and the glories of his nation’s conquests, he raises his children to value beauty and the wonders that enrich their lives. His peaceful world shatters, however, when a tribe of goblins threatens both Gath Odrenoch and the nearby Fairy City. Intent on saving his family and on protecting the innocence of the childlike fairies, Reheuel sets off on a journey to save both cities. Lifting his sword once more, he rediscovers the true cost of beauty.

     

    Just a few minor changes there, and I have remove the word "earthly" because it's not Earth it's Rehavan. I have also changed "aging" because it's meaningless. We are aging from birth. Goblins are over-used. No harm in that, but I would have been tempted to come up with some other name. Fairies? Also well-used, and I admit to it! But I point out that there are fairies and Fairies, which are not the same creatures in my series. If you are writing about what seems to be some other planet, perhaps change their name also? Minor points I know. But it's often those small details that make for a better story. I don't see any problems with the way the Description is written.

     

     

  • Can I suggest you upload the ebook as a full Preview so people can download it without going though the add to basket and Checkout etc? That seems pointless with free ebooks! Possibly even a Preview as a PDF?

     

    No offence but it's too much trouble to 'buy' the book, which often seems to include having to log in again!

     

    But going off what has been said. 90% as a review opinion is very very good. I would not give that to many well established famous writers! Is 100% even achievable? Even though some of us do try?

  • First, a couple minor nitpits: You have no Title Page per se. On the copyright page, you should have the (c) symbol next to the word copyright..

     

    Always a good idea, even on free books, and if it's intended to be Opensource then it should say so, but still with clauses.

     

    Next: The material of "On Creation," -- I realize that you see this as introducing the worlds you have invented and explaining their relative position with respect to ours. I imagine that this part was very important in imagining the rest of the story. But it doesn't belong there.

     

    Very true. If it's so important it can be gradually introduced within the story. Normally it does not matter. Normally they are the private notes used while writing. If you feel it is really important then put it at the back, as some do. But when writing an Earth based story, no one bothers to explain about it, so why bother when writing a story about a person on another planet? It's their story and they know the world they live on.

     

    The rule of beginning a story is, "In Media Res," which is an ancient way of saying "Get the story moving quickly."

     

    And keep it moving quickly. Imagine a film, and those boring bits people fast forward through. Smiley Very Happy One thing that annoys me with some films is they spend 95% of them introducing the people, just so one may feel sad when they are eaten by some monster (as per most 'horror' films.) But one can get acquainted with them during action also.

     

    (Actually, it means, "In the middle of things" and the best example is the Iliad, which starts in year 9 of a 10 year war).

     

    Perhaps the rest of the story was lost? It was written around 700 BC, and it does also cover the background and lead up to the war, but within the text about the last two years.

     

    If you were writing the Silmarillion, then this material would work great. But while nearly everyone has read LOTR, hardly anyone has read the Silmarillion.

     

    I tried. I nodded off and never picked it up again. Bits of it are in the films though, that were not in LotR. In my series I allude to other books about the history and background of the people, but those books do not exist. (Yet!)

     

    (Like so >> "The Engine itself, thought to have been destroyed, was clandestinely spirited away by Malus, presumably to prevent its use for evil again. Or its use for anything. Or perhaps for this very situation! Only he knew and only he knew also why it was not simply destroyed. It was never noted down what became of Malus not long afterwards, so it has never been possible to ask him. As far as anyone knows.

    (You can read more on the wars in - ‘The Last Demon Wars – Never Again’ - and also - ‘Rel-Tih, My Part In His Downfall’ (unfortunately both only available in certain private reference libraries.))"  )

     

    And if JRR Tolkein had put the lengthy passage about how Eru Iluvatar made the Valar, and then with them sang the worlds into being -- if that were at the start of LOTR, no one would have read the rest.

     

    Oh, and talking of the singing in the LotRs books, I skip over those, and in all other stories too.

     

    A good rule is, "Never tell us what you can show us."

     

    It's text, it's all telling.

     

    You've got to tell the story the way you would want to hear it if you hadn't written it.

     

    If you mean do not take for granted that the reader knows what one is on about, then I agree.

     

    Think of writing as a process of making and keeping promises. You're continually promising the reader that if they keep reading, they'll get to the good part -- the exciting scene, or the clever dialog, or the bit with the swordplay, or ... something. So you make the promise, keep the promise, make a bigger promise.

     

    I agree with that also, that's what I try to do, but I have stuck with reading some books that drag at the start, and even for a few chapters, then find I cannot put them down! They are usually very very long stories though, by well-known writers, that some editor/accountant has not said "Errm, can we lose a few 100 pages? Paper costs money."

     

    You're teasing the reader into trusting you so that he will willingly go on this journey with you.

     

    Well I don't know about trust. But I often only read books by people I trust to always write good fiction. (Unless a person I trust to have a good judgement says "you must read this!")

     

    Next: The prologue with the gnome extinguishing the streetlamps... Good stuff, but it comes as a second start to the story, so people need to see that you're going to keep your promise and get to the better stuff. If this were the first start -- without the "On Creation" part -- this would work better.

     

    It's far from unusual for stories to start with a page or two of different scenarios for each character, Introducing a bit of background. A bit like when a group of people eventually get together, what they were doing in the day or week previously and what led to them eventually meeting. (A bit like the AD&D and Dragonlance stories.) Those little side-stories have to include action as well though!

     

    Still in that part: I'd chop down some of those huge paragraphs. You've got blocks of text that are a bit discouraging to the reader, before you've really drawn him into the story.  Every change of subject, however slight, should have its own paragraph. At the very least, unless you're rushing the reader breathlessly through an action scene that can't let him even pause to breathe...

     

    Let him pause to breathe.

     

    Why? But that is what a full stop is for anyway. Even on the same line. But very short sentences, even of just one or two words, give the impression of hurried action. But I do dislike huge blocks of text. I try to break them up with dialogue, even if it's only thoughts.

     

    Frankly, I had to read a couple paragraphs twice because the subject changed in the middle, and I had the idea that it was the gnome whom people thought had sold his soul for story-telling skill.

     

    Indeed, everything has to be perfectly clear or it can lead to confusion later in the story. That's why, for example, I make it obvious who is saying what, and often to whom. Some rare writers do not.

     

    I was wondering why he merely disbelieved that idea and didn't reject it outright -- he should know, right?

     

    One would expect so, but perhaps later on it explains why he does not. There's no harm in puzzling a reader unless it's never explained at some point. Some red-herrings do no harm, though.

     

    Anyway, I'd make about twice as many paragraphs of that part.

     

    Speaking of that: As a point of style: Most fiction books in the US start a chapter somewhere between 1/3 and 1/2 way down the page. Personally, I like the white space. UK and Commonwealth books usually don't. It's a stylistic thing. Think about it, and do what seems right to you.

     

    Is it not a habit by just some publishing houses, regardless of county? Frankly I see it as a waste of paper, but some that do that also have a very large font heading.

     

    Also, I'm not seeing page numbers...

     

    It's an epub.

     

    Then: When you start Chapter One, -- Okay, at last, this is what I was hoping for at the very beginning, a clear narrative with engaging characters. But by now we're at the third start of the story. The average reader will have lost patience with you by this point.

     

    Not all. It's not an unusual method.

     

    Again, shorter paragraphs, and don't tell us what you can show us,

     

    I have no idea what you mean by that. It's text. Text that hopefully creates the right images in the reader's mind. The text is telling a story.

     

    but we get the gist of it; the man, his wife, his sons, his daughter, the Faery city on a hill. The prose could be a bit tighter, but its very good. The dialog could be a bit more like a real conversation, but it's good.

     

    Is that what it says? Faery? But in the description the word fairy is used. Both should not be used.

     

    Another nitpick: Before the boy jumps out (of Smiley Tongue the window, he says "that's my queue." Unless he means that he's going to stand in a line, or he's talking about braiding his hair, he means to say "that's my cue." Minor detail, but it's jarring to the casual reader.

     

    Indeed. Attention to detail is crucial, and that's possibly a sign of an auto-replace spellchecker having been used without taking notice of what it's up to.

     

    So: if this is the sort of feedback you were hoping for, I'll talk a bit about the massacre at the Fairy Castle later. If it's not, say so, and I'll keep my thoughts to myself.

     

    It is when all said and done just an opinion, as is mine.

     

     

  • Skoob_ymSkoob_ym ✭✭✭

    Well, Kevin, you're right, except for the places where you're wrong. Smiley Tongue

     

    As an American, one may jump out a window or out of a window. Other nations may be more restrictive on the matter of defenestration.

     

    "Don't tell us what you can show us..."

     

    What that means is that you can describe the event, or you can say that the event happened. Compare these:

     

    Tires screeched, and the smell of burning rubber filled the air. Moments later, the cars collided; two irrestible forces transformed into immoveable objects. Crunching metal, shattered glass; the smell of fear and gasoline filled the air.

     

    Or

     

    The two cars ran into each other.

     

    The first is what I mean by showing us. The second is what I mean by telling us.


  • Skoob_Ym wrote:

    Well, Kevin, you're right, except for the places where you're wrong. Smiley Tongue

     

    As an American, one may jump out a window or out of a window. Other nations may be more restrictive on the matter of defenestration.

     

    "Don't tell us what you can show us..."

     

    What that means is that you can describe the event, or you can say that the event happened. Compare these:

     

    Tires screeched, and the smell of burning rubber filled the air. Moments later, the cars collided; two irrestible forces transformed into immoveable objects. Crunching metal, shattered glass; the smell of fear and gasoline filled the air.

     

    Or

     

    The two cars ran into each other.

     

    The first is what I mean by showing us. The second is what I mean by telling us.


    This is a really important rule to remember when trying to write engaging fiction. I think another good example is in developing characters.

     

    You can either tell your readers about the character (eg "Arthur was rude and bad-tempered") or show them instead, ie write scenes where Arthur is rude to people. If you write these scenes effectively the reader can work out Arthur's character for themselves and there's no need for the flat description at all.

  • Well, Kevin, you're right, except for the places where you're wrong. Smiley Tongue

     

    Titter.

     

    As an American, one may jump out a window or out of a window. Other nations may be more restrictive on the matter of defenestration.

     

    Is English not English then? But it would perhaps be better as through a window, but it may be a good idea to state if it's open or closed.

     

    "Don't tell us what you can show us..."

     

    What that means is that you can describe the event, or you can say that the event happened. Compare these:

     

    Tires screeched, and the smell of burning rubber filled the air. Moments later, the cars collided; two irrestible forces transformed into immoveable objects. Crunching metal, shattered glass; the smell of fear and gasoline filled the air.

     

    Or

     

    The two cars ran into each other.

     

    The first is what I mean by showing us. The second is what I mean by telling us.

     

    I do know what you mean but both are text, so both are telling us. Show uses images. What you mean is add detail, because it is text.


  • kevinlomas wrote:

     

    The first is what I mean by showing us. The second is what I mean by telling us.

     

    I do know what you mean but both are text, so both are telling us. Show uses images. What you mean is add detail, because it is text.


    Kevin, I'm sorry but you're being pedantic. "Show, don't tell" is one of the basic tenets of good writing. It's a standard phrase that, as a writer, you really need to be familiar with.

  • Skoob_ymSkoob_ym ✭✭✭

    kevinlomas wrote:

    Well, Kevin, you're right, except for the places where you're wrong. Smiley Tongue

     

    Titter.

     

    As an American, one may jump out a window or out of a window. Other nations may be more restrictive on the matter of defenestration.

     

    Is English not English then? But it would perhaps be better as through a window, but it may be a good idea to state if it's open or closed.

     

    "Don't tell us what you can show us..."

     

    What that means is that you can describe the event, or you can say that the event happened. Compare these:

     

    Tires screeched, and the smell of burning rubber filled the air. Moments later, the cars collided; two irrestible forces transformed into immoveable objects. Crunching metal, shattered glass; the smell of fear and gasoline filled the air.

     

    Or

     

    The two cars ran into each other.

     

    The first is what I mean by showing us. The second is what I mean by telling us.

     

    I do know what you mean

     

    Skoob_Ym: If you know what I mean, why are you arguing... Oh, right. You're Kevin. Never mind... 

     

    but both are text, so both are telling us. Show uses images. What you mean is add detail, because it is text.


     

  • Kevin, I'm sorry but you're being pedantic.

     

    Not in the least.

     

    Look up what Show means, and what Tell means, and then tell me the phrase still makes sense. But you should know. In fact it's now used to describe using Youtube instead of text blogs.

     

    "Show, don't tell" is one of the basic tenets of good writing. It's a standard phrase that, as a writer, you really need to be familiar with.

     

    It may be in the USA, and I have no idea why I should be familiar with the term, writer or not, I have heard no other writer mention the term, and I have known writers, even ones who teach it. Good writers just do it without the need for misleading phrases to describe it.


  • kevinlomas wrote:

    Kevin, I'm sorry but you're being pedantic.

     

    Not in the least.

     

    Look up what Show means, and what Tell means, and then tell me the phrase still makes sense. But you should know. In fact it's now used to describe using Youtube instead of text blogs.

     

    "Show, don't tell" is one of the basic tenets of good writing. It's a standard phrase that, as a writer, you really need to be familiar with.

     

    It may be in the USA, and I have no idea why I should be familiar with the term, writer or not, I have heard no other writer mention the term, and I have known writers, even ones who teach it. Good writers just do it without the need for misleading phrases to describe it.


    Well, first of all, I'm English, so I don't know where the USA comment comes from.

     

    If you've never heard a writing teacher utter the phrase then you haven't been listening very well. It's lesson 1 on day 1 of any writing course, right after the bit about where the toilets and fire escapes are. Frankly, if you find the term confusing you're in the wrong game.

     

    Just for the hell of it, I did what you suggested and looked up 'show' and 'tell' These definitions (edited for clarity) are from the latest edition of the Chambers dictionary. 

     

    Show: To cause or allow to be seen or known; to instruct by demonstrating

     

    Tell: To narrate, to inform, to explain.

     

    In other words, don't just inform the reader of things, allow the reader to discover things by demonstrating them in your writing. Don't just write that a character is funny. Have him telling jokes and making the other characters laugh - then the reader can discover he's funny without just having it spoonfed to them.

     

    Anyway, this is turning into another Kevin Lomas Argument(TM) so I'll just say this to anyone reading this (the OP for example) who might actually be looking to learn from advice: always remember Show, Not Tell. Look through your manuscript and try to spot places where you've just given a dry description of something or someone. Have a think about omitting, or editing, the description and replacing it with scenes in relevant places in the text which demonstrate aspects of that description. You'll find that your writing becomes much more engaging for the reader.

  • First off, thank you for your thoughts. I appreciate them greatly. You strike me as a well read individual. And I naturally will consider what you've said.

    I get what you're saying about the false starts. It is perhaps the one thing I was most concerned about when I released the book. The comparison you make to the Silmarilion is interesting because personally I never finished the LOTR, but I enjoyed the Silmarilion immensely, actually going back and rereading it. Perhaps that's why I fall prey to the temptation of elaborate background, a matter of taste. When I release the next work in this series, I think I will nix any such opening mythology segment. Perhaps I can add it on at the end as a kind of bonus for those who enjoy such things rather than forcing it on all readers as a delay to the story's start. Multiple people have commented so far on how it delays the story.

     

    I will also reread the book with a particular attention to my paragraph structure, and hopefully I'll be able to improve that in the future.

    As for your other comments: I'll fix the typos. And I hear you loud and clear about seeing the story from the perspective of the reader as well as that of the writer. It's something I've been working on a lot lately, trying to figure out the cues that signal promises to the reader, understanding the elements that constitute bait and rewards, etc.

    As for the formatting things, I think I will keep the chapter spacing and page numbers as they are. Perhaps not as pretty as in a print book, but I used the directions on Smashwords because this set of formatting is readable across a wide range of devices. If I included page numbers or large blocks of white space they would make the work unreadable on some devices even while making it nicer on others. 

    Thanks again, and I think I might check out some of your works.

  • Thank you very much. Sorry for my tardiness in replying. I haven't been on this site in a while. Yes, the book is available on Amazon, Smashwords, Barnes and Noble, and Nook if you would care to leave a review at any of those sites. If you do so, I thank you very much. It's extremely helpful.

  • I believe you'll find the phrase used in works by authors like Murray, Strunk and White, and other stylists. It refers to the difference between simply stating something as fact and demonstrating it through narrative or action. I could tell you that jealousy is a self-destructive emotion as a statement or write a narrative where someone destroys himself with jealousy. In the first, I told you a fact. In the second, I demonstrated a fact without ever stating it as such. The phrase may not meet the denotative definitions of the two words, but that is why connotation exists, so that we can express ideas with nuance.

  • Thank you. As I read your comments, I realized that beginning sentences with dependent phrases almost becomes a tic of mine when I drop into a descriptive voice. Definitely something to keep an eye on.

    And thank you for the praise. I was very pleased with the cover also, though I can hardly take the credit for it.

     

     

  • Skoob_ymSkoob_ym ✭✭✭

    Justin, glad we could be helpful, even if we did go off on a tangent about "show and tell."

     

    Some of us have some running arguments across many threads, so you'll have to excuse us if we go a bit astray. Anyway, welcome to the forum. You definitely have talent, and I look forward to seeing how that talent develops out.

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