Can someone please review this( because I am trying the best I can)
Ten years ago, In Summer hill lies behind a cruel and evil dictator name Jane. Jane was a wicked tyrant who also govern this city and as well the Island itself. There is a seven-year old boy name Pedro who had always dream of becoming a warrior and his older brother name Alejandro who was ten years older than him. Alejandro was tall and muscular. One night he was walking all alone that when he heard the ruthless dictator and her bodyguard Katrina who was secretly talking about her secret weapons of mass destruction in her secret base. Yet Alejandro quickly runaway from the scene of the crime. Nevertheless, Katrina was a loyal bodyguard of Jane first she spotted Alejandro.
Alejandro heard a gunfire from Soldiers. In addition, Jane told her foot soldiers to kill Alejandro yet, the hand is quicker than the eye because, he took out seventy men all at once and he finally made it home. When Jane found out that Alejandro escaped and went home. She orders her foot soldiers, to infiltrate every villages until they find Alejandro. At Pedro's house, Pedro’s father and Mother names Rick and Maria worried about Alejandro than Suddenly when Alejandro finally came home. He than told his family to leave the village at once. Why, we have to leave
Pedro asked. Because I just hear that Jane have chemical weapons, weapon of mass Destruction either, we leave now or I will… in addition, a fleet of soldiers appear. Oh crap, Alejandro said. Come out with your hands up now Alejandro, you have been eavesdropping did you but it is too late because you will die!
On the spot men, point you assault weapons at Alejandro. Then Katrina appear and said I will call the shots Ready... Aim… Fire… Stop it now you fat **bleep** porker! Pedro cried and as he interrupted Katrina command she stopped and said what did you just said kid, then she added I order everyone not to kill Alejandro but instead we are going to arrest Alejandro's brother. and we will let Jane handle this therefore, the foot soldiers had arrest Pedro and they left. Mom, Dad I am going to saved Pedro from Jane. But it is snowing how you are going to do this?
I am a warrior and I must saved my little brother's life. Alejandro who have his own clan of people they are Ace, Spade, Hearts, Jack, Queen and King These are the people are most powerful clan. in addition, they must infiltrate Jane’s Castle. The map said Summer Hill is that a big mountain top