Struggling with my description...

In a ski town in Colorado, four young men are trying to live as cheaply as possible while skiing as much as they can. After a close call on the mountain, one of them feels he has a life debt to repay. Before they know it, the guys find themselves planning a daring heist. What unfolds is a funny and fast paced story that could only be told by a former ski bum.

Ok, release the hounds on this one. I know it needs some work

Comments

  • Joe_Bondi_BeachJoe_Bondi_Beach San Francisco Bay Area Reader
    Seamus said:
    In a ski town in Colorado, four young men are trying to live as cheaply as possible while skiing as much as they can. After a close call on the mountain, one of them feels he has a life debt to repay. Before they know it, the guys find themselves planning a daring heist. What unfolds is a funny and fast paced story that could only be told by a former ski bum.

    Ok, release the hounds on this one. I know it needs some work
    Except for the last sentence, which I think is a little weak because of the reference to the storyteller, I don't see any great problem with the rest of the description.

    However, when I hear "life debt"  I don't immediately think of repayment in cash, so I'd want to have some idea of why the debt must be repaid in money. I'm intrigued.
  • Just KevinJust Kevin Lulu Genius

    "... that could only be told by a former ski bum."

    I agree with Joe. Such a claim is not true. As just one old example, Ben Hur was written by a Lawyer from Indiana. Anything can be researched.

    But it is not easy to write descriptions without giving too much of a story away, while at the same time getting peoples' attention.

    How Do. Pull up a chair. Would you like a cup of tea? Don't sit in that chair!!
  • Skoob_ymSkoob_ym Librarian
    When an old debt surfaces, a young ski bum and his three snow-happy friends must give up their freewheeling lifestyle on the slopes to settle the score. At the core of their plans is a daring caper that could make them all rich, or land them all in jail.
  • Skoob_ymSkoob_ym Librarian
    The word Colorado could be worked in there... A young Colorado ski bum and his...

    Imagine it being read by that one radio guy you used to advertise cars shows SUNDAY! Sunday! Sunday! At the Sports Arena! Arena! Arena! ... If it could be read like that, it's probably a good description.
  • SeamusSeamus Reader
    LOL, wow, thanks guys. This is some great advice that makes perfect sense. You guys hit from angles I never would have considered.
Sign In or Register to comment.