Weird formatting

Hello, I want to self publish an ebook, but its formatting is in the style of a screenplay. Even so, I've got some very encouraging comments from literary agencies, but sadly no offers. I have attached a whole scene for your own personal enjoyment, and for your opinions on it. Do you think I could publish my book here? Thanks for your time.

Comments

  • You can publish whatever you want to on Lulu, even a blank book if you want to.

    However, you have less chance of selling a screenplay in ebook format than hell has of freezing over.

    As for the formatting what is so weird about it?

     

    Person A

    I is so bored.

    Person B

    You have such poor grammar.

    Person A

    Is you crazy? I paid a fortune for that software that checks my grammar.

     

  • Ok, great, thanks. One of the main reasons I'm publishing a book, is because a potential employer of a joke writing course told me to do so. Once I've done that, it will make me look more impressive to customers. Because that's the main reason, I'm not massively concerned how many books I sell, but it would be nice to sell some, anyway. You really think no one will buy it? It's very funny. 

  • What does 'bitonality' mean?

     


    Simonon wrote:

    Ok, great, thanks. One of the main reasons I'm publishing a book, is because a potential employer of a joke writing course told me to do so.

     

    A what?

     

    Once I've done that, it will make me look more impressive to customers.

     

    To which customers? Do you mean those who may happen to buy it because it has been published? Buy it just to read it, like a book? Could explain what it is you mean exactly?

     

    Because that's the main reason,

     

    But it makes little sense.

     

    I'm not massively concerned how many books I sell, but it would be nice to sell some, anyway.

     

    So do you wish to publish to sell some? or to just look "impressive" to someone?

     

    You really think no one will buy it? It's very funny. 

     

    It's a very limited market. Very. Sit back and think about why.


     

  • Bitonality is music that has two keys at the same time. I was making a joke, suggesting the singer was singing out of key. 

     

    A joke writing course is a course where I teach people how to write jokes...

     

    The fact alone that I've self published a book, will make me look more impressive to the students of the joke writing course. That's what my employer told me, anyway. 

     

    Yep, I want to publish my comedy book to look impressive. I've also set up a website, for the same reason. Here it is...

     

     

    http://deftonesaresuper.wixsite.com/website

     

    I was thinking of giving my book away for free, so that anyone can see the kind of stuff I do. In particular my comedy customers. 

     

    I'm sitting back and thinking... Nothing's coming to mind. As I said, I've had some great comments from agencies. 

  • You really think I won't sell anything? Would it make more sense, to just make my books available on my website?


  • Simonon wrote:

    Bitonality is music that has two keys at the same time. I was making a joke, suggesting the singer was singing out of key. 

     

    Ah, I see, but I did search for the word and came up with no results! I could have spelled it wrongly though! The best jokes are ones that almost everyone can understand or relate to. Some jokes don't travel well though  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPaZfeAYUyk

     

     

     

    A joke writing course is a course where I teach people how to write jokes...

     

    Sorry, it did not sound like that. See >> "is because a potential employer of a joke writing course told me to do". How do you teach people to write jokes? Is it not a 'gift'?

     

    The fact alone that I've self published a book, will make me look more impressive to the students of the joke writing course. That's what my employer told me, anyway.

     

    It would be far more impressive if you had been published by some major publishing house. Anyone can self-publish and anyone often does! It's no recommendation of anything. (Or was he suggesting you could sell your book to students on your course?) But are you sure he said self-published because I think if I wished to take such a course it would be under someone with a well-known track record.   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z9ciHpT4WuM 

     

    Yep, I want to publish my comedy book to look impressive. I've also set up a website, for the same reason. Here it is...

     

     

    http://deftonesaresuper.wixsite.com/website

     

    Indeed, I just looked. It only being on a free site is not impressive. Try one here >>  http://www.homestead.com/  I have heard many of those jokes, though, and some are not funny. Sorry.

     

    I was thinking of giving my book away for free, so that anyone can see the kind of stuff I do. In particular my comedy customers. 

     

    Is that not what your site is for? And are you not taking up employment running some course? Will people not see your stuff those ways? Do you not do standup?

     

    I'm sitting back and thinking... Nothing's coming to mind. As I said, I've had some great comments from agencies. 

     

    Because 99.9% of people prefer to see plays, not read them?


     


  • Simonon wrote:

    You really think I won't sell anything? Would it make more sense, to just make my books available on my website?


    You have only shown us a sample of one book and that is a play. Has it ever been acted? But who buys such things? Theatre groups, perhaps, who normally do already well-known stuff or can afford £millions to put on a show they have written.

  • Thanks for all that.... Well, I'm going to self-publish anyway, and see what happens. I've got nothing to lose, so why not? I've added book previews to my website, I was thinking I could recommend potential customers to look at those, before buying my completed books. That way, they'd have little excuse to complain if they don't like my material. I'm surprised you didn't like the Tim Vine, I thought he was funny. There are better English comedians, though, like Michael Mcintyre. 

  • http://www.lulu.com/shop/simon-wiedemann/the-danger-of-proverbs/ebook/product-23088134.html

     

    It's time to get excited! They said it couldn't be done, but I've released a screenplay book! And for only £1.49! Smiley Surprised Smiley Surprised Smiley Surprised

  • Thanks for all that.... Well, I'm going to self-publish anyway, and see what happens. I've got nothing to lose, so why not?

     

    Indeed. It costs nothing but a lot of time and the cost of a Proof. If we all worried about if we sell anything or not we would not bother.

     

    I've added book previews to my website,

     

    Once you use a Lulu Project Wizard you will notice that at the end it generates a Preview which you can customise and it will appear on your Lulu Spotlight. See >>   http://www.lulu.com/shop/kevin-lomas/demonstrative/paperback/product-21279534.html

     

    I was thinking I could recommend potential customers to look at those, before buying my completed books.

     

    Indeed, but Lulu do that for you already. You too will get a Spotlight and if you also use an ISBN (for books that allow it) your book will also end up listed all over the internet also with Previews. See >> https://www.amazon.com/Project-Thirian-Kevin-Lomas/dp/1291621113

     

     

    That way, they'd have little excuse to complain if they don't like my material. I'm surprised you didn't like the Tim Vine,

     

    I never said I did not like him. I said that some jokes are very country specific.

     

    I thought he was funny.

     

    Yes he is.

     

    There are better English comedians, though, like Michael Mcintyre. 

     

    Two totally different types of standups. One tells one-liner jokes and the other does not. Both are equally as funny I would have thought.


  • Simonon wrote:

    http://www.lulu.com/shop/simon-wiedemann/the-danger-of-proverbs/ebook/product-23088134.html

     

    It's time to get excited! They said it couldn't be done, but I've released a screenplay book! And for only £1.49! Smiley Surprised Smiley Surprised Smiley Surprised


    You need to look at that address yourself. In the huge amount of blurb for it (that does not say it is a play but a book (on a book site?!)) there's a link to a Preview, but there's already a Preview on that page. The Spotlight makes this -  "So that you know what kind of book this is, I recommend you have a look at the preview of it before buying. It can be found here" and the link you have on it redundant.

     

    BTW: There is a way to place hyperlinks on the Spotlights.

     

    As to the book. You do know that a PDF e-book cannot have an ISBN?

     

    The cover is terribly bland.

     

    As a PDF it also needs the cover to be the first page of the PDF.

  • Tada...

     

    http://www.lulu.com/shop/simon-wiedemann/the-danger-of-proverbs/ebook/product-23089307.html

     

    I'll try doing the hyperlinks, and uploading an rtf file, later.

  • Yeah, it's hand drawn. Is that bad?


  • Simonon wrote:

    Yeah, it's hand drawn. Is that bad?


    Not at all, mine are all hand-drawn. With my hand on a mouse!

     

    http://www.lulu.com/shop/search.ep?contributorId=424102

     

    So hand-drawn does not have to mean bland. (And I hope mine are not!)

     

    Have a read at these >>>   http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/designing-book-covers/     http://penandthepad.com/design-book-cover-2023863.html

  • But I see you have now changed the cover and now I will have to say that is even worse than before, so in that instance, hand-drawn is not good. Sorry.

     

    But still read the above links, but even more!

  • and uploading an rtf file, later.

     

    For what? Can you not see the small text under the cover image that says Preview? Click it.

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