Request for Advice

I have to pick out something for the dust jacket.  Since this is my first novel and no one has read it for critique even if it were the greatest book since Green Eggs and Ham I am being told to use a teaser from the book about 300 words.  I have two sections I pulled as possibilities but I am not sure what to go for..  Any advice?

Comments

  • If this is for the blurb on the back of the book then my advice would be neither.

     

    Although what you're suggesting has been done, I personally would advise using a powerful but high level description of what the book is about, rather than using a short excerpt.

  • Perhaps like one of these? (Quick written rough draft, meant to give flavor) I know this is probably really basic stuff for y'all but I never thought baout it till I got asked where mine was.  I admit I really didn't like cutting a slice out, but that is what I was reccomended 

  • Yes, that's much more like it. But the finished piece will need to be a lot shorter. I'd recommend somewhere around the 150 words mark.

     

    Remember, this is one of the most important things you'll write. Spend time on it. Hone it. Every word must have a reason for being there. It needs to grab the reader's attention from the very start.

     

    For most readers, this is all they'll know of you, and it's much easier for them to skim over it and keep browsing than it is for them to stay and take an interest.

  • Skoob_ymSkoob_ym ✭✭✭

    I'm a big fan of  "In Media Res" or just jumping into things.

     

    I'd take the last few paragraphs from the first excerpt, and increase the font size to fi:

     

    "

    "Sargent John Redwolf, emergency transfer alpha!" Private Steel yelled into the transfer controller. Redwolf's body lit up for a moment before disappearing to Crystal Prime.

     

    The door shuddered under the impact of what had to be heavy weapon fire.

     

    "Let's make them earn every inch Epik!" Ghost roared as he locked and loaded.

     

    "Sir" Corporal Cutthroat said weakly, "That white mist..."

     

    Looking over at his squad mates Ghost could see the blood leaking from their eyes and ears. It didn't look like they would make the ten minutes for the next transfer.

     

    “Alright Epik! Let’s go medieval on their **bleep**!” Corporal Ghost bellowed. “Get the door Killer! We got company.”

     

    Just my two cents' worth...

  • Skoob_ymSkoob_ym ✭✭✭

    WWDowd wrote:

    Perhaps like one of these? (Quick written rough draft, meant to give flavor) I know this is probably really basic stuff for y'all but I never thought baout it till I got asked where mine was.  I admit I really didn't like cutting a slice out, but that is what I was reccomended 


    Of these, I like the second better.

     

    Richard is right that tightening it up would be good, also.

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